It’s not cheating to ask for help

Not long ago I wrote about not wanting to go to therapy again, seeing it as a sign of my own personal failure. I felt similarly about resorting to drugs. When I came off citalopram last time, in 2014, it was a point of pride for me. I was proud that I had reached a point where I felt comfortable to go it alone, to swim by myself without the buoyancy aid. Without cheating. Continue reading “It’s not cheating to ask for help”

Why I spent an hour just floating

It’s a Sunday afternoon in January and I’m floating in a pitch black capsule of salty water.

As we sat down at a row of iPads to watch the video introduction at Auckland’s ‘Float Culture’, I won’t lie, I felt a little ridiculous. Yoga, hunting down the best artisan gelato in town, going for brunch in my active wear… ‘Is this who I’ve become?’ I wondered. Someone so removed from reality that I’m handing over a small fortune to sit in salty water for an hour? I live a ten minute walk from the sea! Continue reading “Why I spent an hour just floating”

Skating around perfectionism

Somehow this morning I found myself wobbling on a battered pair of 1970s roller skates like a baby deer learning to walk. How did this happen?

In the honeymoon period, the days and weeks following our wedding, colleagues have regularly been asking me how I’m enjoying married life. In truth, just after the wedding I was anxious and struggling. I had lost direction, without the move to New Zealand, the new job and home, or the wedding to focus on.

Continue reading “Skating around perfectionism”

Don’t forget what a wedding is about

“When’s your Mum arriving?” is a question I’ve been asked so often in the last couple of months that I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve heard it.

It’s a question that gets me on edge as soon as it’s out, because – without fail – the next bit of the conversation is identical, every single time.

“We’re just having a very small wedding, us and two witnesses”

“Oh” they then say, looking aghast, with no attempt to conceal their horror, just like every other person who’s asked the same question. “Is she really upset?”

Continue reading “Don’t forget what a wedding is about”

(Illustration Credit: Jennifer Williams)

Why I’m just like Jennifer Lawrence

You may have come across Jennifer Lawrence’s recent article for Lenny. In it she writes about her experience finding out (at the same time as millions around the world) that she had been paid a sizeable amount less than her male colleagues for her role in ‘American Hustle’. It turns out that gender inequality is alive and kicking in Hollywood, just as non-film-star women get paid less than their male counterparts for the same work all around the world. I’m impressed by J-Law’s maturity when she confesses, “I didn’t get mad at Sony” – the company paying her salary – “I got mad at myself. I failed as a negotiator because I gave up early.” Continue reading “Why I’m just like Jennifer Lawrence”

Fat Feminist Outrage

or Why it’s not political correctness gone mad to ban the Protein World advert.  (N.B. *trigger warning*) I could write an essay about this advert. I really could. From advertising and marketing, to body image and eating disorders, to health and nutrition, to feminism, to mental health, to the sexualisation of women in society, to capitalism and consumerism, to the colour yellow. I could write pages and … Continue reading Fat Feminist Outrage